Her Next Chapter
by Mrs. Marauder
Summary: Narcissa Malfoy keeps a diary and in this diary she writes down some of her darkest secrets. She talks about the trials and tribulations of her marriage to a Death Eater and about her struggle to become pregnant.
1. July 8, 1974

Dearest Diary

July 8, 1974

Well it's done, I'm Mrs. Lucius Malfoy. We are in France for our honeymoon, and it's so romantic.

This morning once I finished writing my dad and I walked through the manor and out to the doorway. We stood inside the doorway and waited until the bridal march started up and then we walked out the doors, down the steps and down the aisle. The ceremony took forever Bellatrix said but I don't really remember. I don't remember anything for that matter. All I could think about while walking down the aisle was how I didn't think I would make it to the end. I thought my knees would give out from nerves, but then I looked up at Lucius and he was smiling at me, and well that's all that I can remember. I just know that all I could think about during the ceremony was Lucius, and then I remember when the minister said 'you may kiss the bride' and Lucius leaned over and kissed me. I don't know if we would have pulled apart if it wasn't for Bellatrix running over and hugging me. So after the ceremony we had the reception and finally at about 1:45 we were able to escape from the party and apparate to France. From what Bellatrix said the party went on all night. So we apparated to France and we are staying in a little cabin on the beach in the south of France. It is beautiful and so, so romantic. Lucius is amazing. I won't go into detail about what we have been doing because Dearest Diary you probably won't want to hear, but I will say one thing, we haven't left the cabin. We haven't even spoken to the Witches in the next cabin or the group of witches and wizards from America in the other cabin beside us.

Well I better go now, Lucius, my dear Lucius is walking out of the bathroom.

Bye for now…

Narcissa Malfoy

xxx.:.x.:.xxx

a/n Well hope you liked it. Please, please review. For Her Diary I only got 4 reviews and I was really disappointed. So please review. So I don't know if you have read Her Diary, but you don't have to read it to read this, but if you want to read it and you haven't, make sure you review . Thanks Mrs. Marauder


	2. July 7, 1975

Dearest Diary

July 7th 1975

Well today is my first anniversary, but it didn't go as I had planned. I have been having trouble getting pregnant and Lucius is mad at me. He's blaming me. He says that it's my fault that I'm not pregnant.

Also I woke up this morning and looked over at Lucius' side of the bed and he wasn't there, so I got up and went to find him. I found him slumped over his desk in the same clothes he had on yesterday. He didn't even come to bed.

The only good thing is that I officially became a Death Eater today. Yes I have the Dark Mark on my forearm.

So all in all everything is pretty bad. My marriage is falling apart, because I can't get pregnant and today I found out why Lucius' is so upset. Because when I became a Death Eater the Dark Lord said that my first son will be the heir. Basically he will be forced to become a Death Eater. Oh God, I can't let that harm come upon my child. Maybe it is a blessing that I can't get pregnant. But if I don't, I'll lose Lucius. I don't know what to do. What if I lose Lucius over all this? What if he leaves me because I can't have a child? I don't know what I'll do. I love him so much, but right now I don't know if he loves me.

He is getting angry with me. He is yelling at me and demanding things from me and he has even hit me. I never thought I would say that my Dear Lucius did those things to me. This shouldn't be how our first anniversary goes. We should be celebrating one happy year together but really it wasn't happy. About a month after the honeymoon Lucius started to ask if I was pregnant, and when I said no he said then I would be soon. But after a few months he started to get angry at me. Oh Dearest Diary what am I going to do. I want a child so desperately but then I don't because I don't want him to have to become a Death Eater. I don't mind it for myself, but that is myself. What if he gets hurt or worse killed. Oh I can't even think about that. So if I can't get pregnant I lose Lucius and if I do get pregnant I might lose the baby when he is older.

This shouldn't be how this day should go. I'm sitting out under a large oak tree in the back garden. As far away from the house as I can get because I don't want Lucius to hit me again. How could he have changed so much in a year from the loving kind person that I once new and loved.

Oh no he's coming this way, I've got to go…

Narcissa Black Malfoy as much as I don't want to sign Malfoy but that is who I am

xxx.:.x.:.xxx

a/n why isn't anybody reviewing. Does nobody like it. I know people are reading it from the hits I'm getting, but please take the time to review. Please.

Flames, Praises, Ideas, Hints, Suggestions, I take them all. So just please review.


	3. May 24, 1979

Dearest Diary

May 24, 1979

Well I know it's been 4 years since I last wrote and well there wasn't much to write about. What was happening 4 years ago just continued to happen and it even got worse if that is possible. Some days I was scared for my life, but now everything is fine and Lucius is back to who he used to be all those years ago. Because Dearest Diary I am pregnant. The baby will be born at the start of February. I didn't know whether to be happy or upset. But after seeing Lucius' reaction I am so happy. He is finally back to normal and he is so excited. So Dearest Diary I found out today I was pregnant. This morning would have meant I was a week late. I was trying not to get my hopes up incase it was not so, but it was so hard. So I did the spell that I had memorized right after our wedding and saw that yes it was true, I was pregnant. I started to jump up and down and scream and then I fell to the floor bawling. I was so happy. Lucius ran into the room and saw me with my back up against the cupboard and bawling. He walked over to me and demanded I tell him what was wrong. So I told him that I was finally pregnant. His face, oh the expression on his face. He scooped me up in his arms and walked me out of the bathroom and placed me on our bed and he looked and me and asked me if this was a joke and I told him it wasn't and that was when everything changed. He got so excited. He leaned over and started to kiss me like he hadn't since being at Hogwarts. Usually he is aggressive but today he was soft and passionate. Oh I didn't realize just how much I missed my old Lucius until that moment. We laid on the bed kissing for awhile and then he stood up and said that he had to go tell the Dark Lord. This was the part I was dreading. He asked me to come with him and who was I to refuse. So I got up and got dressed and we apparated. The Dark Lord told us that we would be rewarded. We then disapparated. We were sitting in the Library when we heard a pop and Bellatrix appeared. She said so it is true than. You have finally produced an heir? We told her it was and she came over and sat down beside me. She told us that the Dark Lord had told here personally. Lucius gritted his teeth. He knows that he is very close with the Dark Lord, but Bellatrix is one step ahead of him and the closest person to the Dark Lord. So Dearest Diary this day was such a relief. After 5 years of waiting I am finally pregnant.

Narcissa Malfoy-I will finally sign my name again and not Black Malfoy

xxx.:.x.:.xxx

a/n so hope you liked it and please please review. Thank you. One review for 3 chapters just isn't enough so please help get the reviews up. Only you can do it. It's not hard. I accept anonymus reviews so even if you don't have an account you can review this story.


	4. February 17, 1980

Dearest Diary

February 17, 1980

At last. Yesterday morning I was sitting in the drawing room just wondering when the baby was going to come. The baby was late. A week late to be exact. I was starting to get worried. What if something was wrong with my baby? So I was sitting in front of the fire when I felt this awful pain shoot through my stomach. I screamed and doubled over. Bellatrix who was staying at the manor to help me out came running asking what was wrong? The pain subsided and I said that it was time and for her to go and get Lucius. She helped me up to my bed chambers. Half way up the last staircase another contraction hit. I doubled over again and screamed. Bellatrix helped me up after it was through and we walked the last corridor to the chambers. Bellatrix laid me in my bed and said she was off to get the midwife and Lucius. With a pop she was gone and with another pop she reappeared with the midwife. The midwife walked over just as another contraction hit. I've never felt so much pain in my life. Not even when I was tortured with Crucio and that is saying something. I would take a thousand Crucios right about now. I screamed and Bellatrix walked over and grabbed my hand. I asked her where Lucius was and she said she couldn't find him. I screamed at her to go and find him. According to what she said later I wasn't that kind during labor. She reappeared 15 minutes later during which another 2 contractions hit and told me that she couldn't find Lucius. I screamed that he knew that I would need him, where was he? And she said that she didn't know. I was still laying on the bed and the midwife was trying to get me undressed and into a nightie. She said I could where my own but no way am I letting anybody except Lucius see me in my nightie. Let's just say there's not much to them. So finally the midwife got me into a large shirt of Lucius' and got Bellatrix to prop some pillows behind my head and then she pulled the sheet up to my waist. The contractions started to have less time in between. Every time one hit I squeezed Bellatrix's hand so hard. She moaned out in pain a couple of times and said that I was crushing the bones in her hand. I told her that she wasn't the one trying to fit a watermelon through a Pringles container and that she shouldn't be complaining. She didn't say anything after that but she did moan a couple of times. The midwife walked out of the bathroom with some towels and told me that I had to lay flat. Which was imposable to do since another contraction had just hit. I told her that I'd switch places with her any day. I can tell now that I wasn't the nicest person to be around then. She said that the baby was breeched and we had to try and turn it before it got to well I guess you could say low, I really wasn't listening at that point to her because another contraction hit. I brought my legs up as close to my body as I could with my large stomach and laid in the fetal position until it passed. The midwife pulled the sheet off of me and told me to lay flat. I tried and she pulled the shirt up so it was just covering my breasts which by the way are huge! So basically I was laying with no clothes on my lower half with the midwife and Bellatrix in the room. Needless to say I was embarrassed! The midwife then tried to turn the baby so it was head first. I take what I said back about the contractions being the worst pain ever because this surpassed it greatly. It was so awful I felt like I was splitting in two. Finally the Midwife stood up and said everything was fine and the baby was fine. I flopped back down on the pillows and tried to get my breath back from screaming. Bellatrix pulled out her wand and said sorry Cissa but besides having a crushed hand I'm going to be deaf and she pointed her wand at me and said Silencio. The midwife turned to me and said that it helped if I focused on my breathing. I tried. It helped a little but not much.

22 hours later and a lot of pain and I had my darling baby in my arms. He was beautiful. Bellatrix had finally taken the silencing spell off of me. She was sitting on the side of my bed looking at the baby. I asked her why didn't she have kids and she looked at me like I was crazy and she said after she saw what I went through no thanks. I laughed. I asked her again where Lucius was. After all the fuss about me being pregnant he missed our baby being born. I can't believe it besides my wedding day this was and is the most important day of my life. The midwife pulled out her wand and started to clean everything up. Finally she was done and said she would be outside if we needed her to call her. I laid back down on the bed after give the baby to Bellatrix to hold. She cooed and the baby giggled. She handed me back the baby after awhile and that's when the door flew open and Lucius hurried in. He ran over to my bed and asked how I was. I told him coldly that I have felt better ever day in my life. He laughed and I shot him a glare. He started to apologize and I screamed at him to shut up. Bellatrix grabbed the baby and walked out of the room with him. I sat up a bit straighter and looked Lucius in the eye and asked him who the hell he was that he thought he could abandon me with not a single word. He said that the Dark Lord needed him and I told him to hell with what the Dark Lord needed I needed him more. He took a step back and I continued to glare at him. He walked over and tried to sit down on the side of the bed but I shoved him off. He asked what are we going to call the baby and I told him that the babies name was Draco. He was mad now he wanted to help name the baby but I told him that if he couldn't show up for the delivery to hell with him naming the baby. He was furious. I saw him reach into his pocket for his wand but I was quicker. Probably with all the adrenaline pumping through me. I screamed stupefy and he crumpled to the floor. Bellatrix and the midwife came running in at this moment. Baby Draco in Bellatrix's arms. What happened they cried. I laid back down on the bed and curled up into a ball and started to sob. Bellatrix ran over to me and the midwife ran over to Lucius. What happened Bellatrix demanded we heard the screaming she said. I told her what happened through my sobs and then I said that he reached for his wand but I stunned him before he could do anything. The midwife waved her wand and levitated Lucius into the next room. Bellatrix sat down beside me with Draco still in her arms and she tried to soothe me. She told me that he would be okay. I told her that I'm a horrible wife stunning your husband. What kind of wife does that? She said that if he was going for his wand that was the only thing I could have done to protect myself. Just then Draco began to cry. Bellatrix handed him to me and said that he was upset because his mommy was upset. As soon as he was in my arms he stopped crying. I looked into his silver eyes and marveled about how much he looked like his father. I don't know right now if that will be a gift or a curse right now. The midwife came in and said that Lucius would be okay and she was going home now but if we had any problems we knew where she was. I nodded and then the midwife apparated. I stood up and walked over to the basinet and started to sway and sing. Draco's eyes started to sag and finally they closed and I placed him in the basinet at the end of my bed. I looked over and saw Bellatrix laying on my bed smiling. I walked back over and asked her if she wanted anything to eat. She nodded and we walked out the door as Bellatrix was closing the door I muttered a spell that would enable all the sounds in the room to be heard wherever I was. We walked down the many corridors and staircases and finally we were in the Drawing Room. Where this all started 24 hours ago. Boy that seems like a year ago. I snapped my fingers and a house elf appeared and asked what we needed. I told him to fix dinner. A few minutes later he appeared again and said Lady Malfoy your supper is ready. I snapped at him to never call me Lady Malfoy. Sorry he stuttered Mrs. Malfoy. I told him to not every call me Mrs. Malfoy. I told him to call me Ms. Black if he had to. He looked at me with shock. I nodded and Bellatrix looked at me. We then walked into the Dining Room and ate dinner. The whole time I was listening for any sounds from my bed chambers. Bellatrix asked me about telling the house elf to call me Ms. Black and I just shook my head but she wouldn't give in and finally I said if you I wanted to be a Malfoy after what Lucius did to me. She went quiet and that was the end of the discussion.

I don't know if I'll forgive Lucius. How could he miss the birth of our baby? Draco Cygnus Malfoy. Cygnus after my father. I called him Draco because it is Latin for Dragon. Dragons have a lot of strength which he will need to get through his life as a Malfoy and they are powerful which is a given seeing as he is a Malfoy and a Black. I don't know what I'll do. I might take Draco and stay with Mother and Father or Bellatrix and Rodolphus. I really don't know but all I know is that I will have my wand handy while I am by myself around the manor.

Well goodbye for now.

Narcissa Black-signed February 17, 1980 Draco Cygnus Black Malfoy's Birthday

xxx.:.x.:.xxx

a/n Thanks to Becky who reviewed the last chapter and that is so true. So please review and I hope you liked it if not I don't mind you giving me hints to make it better. I will thank you if you help me not bite your head off. Thanks to vampireselene for her review in chapter 1 really appreciate it. Keep it up


End file.
